Damaged But Not Broken by Hearts Collective

Author:Hearts Collective [Collective, Hearts]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, pdf
Publisher: Hearts Collective
Published: 2013-09-16T04:00:00+00:00

TWELVE

Paige

The Guilty Kiss

I hurry to the front of the house and watch Blake’s truck pull away. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It’s so wrong. I feel terrible that Savannah gave him an ultimatum; it’s almost like she knew about our kiss. But I can’t have Blake making any rash decisions, not when he’s engaged.

Of course, I’ve dreamed about being with Blake. Imagined what it would be like if we could actually be together. And I know it would be amazing. But I can’t be responsible for the demise of a relationship. Especially, when I know deep down that Blake and Savannah never would have had problems if I hadn’t come back to town.

Okay, maybe that wasn’t entirely true. Savannah wasn’t an angel. Blake clearly has his hands full with her. But right now, their drama is directly related to me.

Only one thing will help clear my head, and I head back to my room and throw a swimsuit on. I dive into the pool, feeling the calmness of the rhythm of swimming laps.

The laps give me something to focus on, a way to channel my energy, and by the time I climb out of the pool, exhausted but satisfied, the noise in my brain has calmed down. I wonder if I shouldn’t have sent Blake home right away. Maybe we should have talked more. But I was so terrified and yet secretly thrilled by what he suggested, that I couldn’t be around him for one more second.

I can't dare to let myself think that maybe, somehow, he and I could have a future. It's wrong on so many levels. Not just because he's engaged, but also because I'm damaged goods. I had just returned to Nashville, and was just starting to deal with my past here. As much as I felt an attraction to Blake, what would really happen if we tried to become intimate? I was never able to become intimate with men after what happened to me. I keep telling myself that it would be different with Blake, because we had been intimate before, and because I trust him, but would it?

I lay out in a lounge chair, letting the warm Nashville sun bake my skin. Blake probably spoke without thinking anyway. He was mad as hell at Savannah and her ridiculous ultimatum, so he thought up the most ludicrous of solutions. For all I know, Savannah could apologize tonight, and tell Blake she made a huge mistake and he could go on tour without any issues.

I feel my own anger rise when I think of the position she put Blake in. She couldn’t possibly be serious that she wanted Blake to give up his career because we would be on tour together for one lousy month. Was she really that intimidated by me? And what for? She was the one who had Blake. How could a woman who looked and acted like Savannah be so insecure?

I sigh, knowing that I need to get back to writing music. I’ve done pretty well so far, but I really need to keep working, especially since I’ll be on tour soon.

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